What has brought you to this point?

          People act like it is nothing to put trust in someone enough to let them in their home, not knowing who they really are, yet find it so hard to put trust in the unknown of the unseen. Yes, these same people are so scared to have faith in spiritual unfolding but not to have faith in something that could actually harm them by welcoming someone in their life to get close without question. Doesn't seem all that logical yet we all have done it.

     In our immaturity we request things as an ultimatum, allowing our faith to diminish when not received. Yet in our maturity we have understanding that we don't get what we want at all times by these requests or even when we request them. Unfortunately if we received everything we asked for based on what we wanted, promising to do something as long as it was given to us then it would be like only being friends with someone as long as you get something out of them in return, even if you have no intention to fulfill the promise that you've made to begin with. This would be an unstable foundation to any friendship. Faith is based on placing our trust that we receive what falls within the purpose of the great design meant for us. It saddens me actually, when I look back on my own life or meet people who let things tear them away from a great life because not everything is easy to face and we must wait for an unknown amount of time for our purpose to unfold. Yes, I forgive myself since I was merely immature and I do not judge or hate anyone but I question why within ignorance we would speak first instead of think about what we're actually saying. It is important to take each day with a grain of salt not placing worry in what is behind or ahead. Sometimes it is easy to fail at this test, for me, but I know logically if the whole day I'm not able to snap out of whatever misery is holding me down, even if I have tried everything, then I'll be able to start fresh as long as a new day dawns. Patience is not easy and neither is a faith driven life. Life is a spiritual battle, everyday we must overcome and claim our victories. Spirituality doesn't unfold over night, it is meant to be pruned, waited on and patiently endured until we come to a point of harvesting the fruit. If we don't nurture growth then the growth we did have may wither or stay where we are for as long as we allow it. Just as the seasons change, we do within our maturity. To be a healthy spiritual individual we need to be persistent and not give up based on what happens in our life, the war will be and will continue, yet unless we persistently prepare before these storms we will falter the whole way through them. I don't expect to convince nor do I expect any longer that people will read or respond to my thoughts and tidbits of emotional writings, though I will continue to in my understanding of self revelation.

     My heart is heavy for all those who confuse and base their life impacting decision of overall belief and faith on a struggle that they either don't face today or that they wanted the opposite to happen. Praying in ultimatum that we would do something to receive something is like saying if you do not receive it then your life is over or you cut off the relationship just like that, not true. Why so angry over something out of your control? The reality is, we aren't always requesting something to better ourselves. Neither is the prayer the best answer for us because we don't always know whats good for us, even if we always got what we wanted. Think about it, did you always get what you wanted from your parents? I know some people have gotten most but I find it hard to believe that everything you requested from your parents growing up was in agreement with what they wanted for you. Likewise as to what your parents want for you, it doesn't always perfectly match what would be best for you and your future. Our future is unknown therefore we can't make the best present decision not knowing what the future holds, we just think we know the ideal play out and plan based on what would make life easier for us. How do we know sometimes we don't get the opposite of what we ask because of how we react to not getting it, or that we needed the test of faith in order to blossom, yet sometimes this is when people chose to let it dim them? Unfortunately, when we live outside of educating ourselves in spirituality and live in ignorance of the truth nothing is promised, everything remains meaningless, just as the possessions that collect dust and moths destroy.

     Recently, I have come to realize I let people effect me in a way I don't quite understand. I let people restrict me in conversation and my spiritual growth with them and with myself because I am passive about  their feelings, it is personal. It is important to me to keep my mouth shut and have someone come to me, mostly because I don't like making anyone feel uncomfortable. I remember praying for things as a logical give and take but we all know it simply doesn't work like this. Now I am grateful that my immature prayers were never provided. Why, because not everything we ask for is really necessary and it is not always for our greater good in our growth, like a boy, a child or job we thought would better our life. Let me hit you with a real question...how can you say you don't believe in the unseen if you believe in spirituality? Better yet, how can you say that you don't believe when you simply are unsure or are not feeding yourself within, to answer the questions with truth, by allowing your spirit to show you? My point is we shouldn't make a concrete decision on not having sustainable information or base it on others walks of life or religions. How can anyone say that we do not go anywhere when we're not actually the ones to determine this, our soul/spirit leaves this body and state of mind. There is so much more to life then the physical, I do not need you to be convinced that there is because if you would rather die and not live after death that does not effect my eternity. I just don't understand where you come from, and would love to know what the personal struggle is. I have been a friend of death before and have even kissed it multiple times, but until I realized it is an enemy that wants you to be satisfied within its eternal darkness and misery, I did not understand that life continues on through it. It shouldn't take showing or experience to have faith, gratefully I never lost faith or hope in anything, these experiences were just confirmation for me personally. Everyone is different and we all need different experiences and revelations to feel fulfilled in purpose and promise. We also need to admit that we do not know it all and surrender to the unknown otherwise we restrict ourselves in really receiving what is meant for us. I have compassion for people who don't have any relationship with themselves, enough to admit we just never know it all. If I am not meant to carry on after this life then so be it but I will never say that I will just die to nothingness, not with out a fight. there is more to me then that. Realistically you aren't even trying and you have no courtesy to your own soul based on answering what your spirit knows, yet you doubt.

   
     What makes me ill is the fact that people who claim or admit that there is nothing after this life have nothing to base their decision on besides their anger of not getting what they have wanted. Or maybe their life hasn't lived up to their fairy tale expectation, who knows, I surely don't, though I am trying to make sense of it. Nothing is perfect since we are not perfect. Life is a struggle and it throws curve balls. I have a relationship with Jesus and I live through the Holy Spirit, this helps me personally to hit those curve balls out of the park. If you don't have or don't want a personal relationship with God because you don't know for yourself or others have impacted your faith then I encourage you to seek for yourself. This is not about religion it's about seeking yourself and finding the truth on your own with support of those who love you, whether passed on or still around you. We can not know someone or something with out  getting to know them or the subject. This has nothing to do with pushing a religion, it's about knowing what is within you not always what happens and what is around you. If I based my faith on everything around me I have missed the point, I lack the understanding that I am so much more then the physical. If we don't exercise our spirit then how can we think that we will grow at all? Don't be so quick to give up your spirit to nothingness rather then knowing there is so much more.
     So I digress, what has brought you to this point in deciding as to why you won't put a little more into yourself instead of living day in and day out, year after year, not molding yourself in something more then what you see? Do you not understand that you are worth so much more then your wounds or past burdens? I pray you give your spirit the opportunity to show you, instead of quicker rejecting your spirit entirely, whether or not it is contrary to what your mind has formed as belief. Keep in mind that there is still evil and good within spirituality and it is important to be able to discern this spirit in order to not stray from what is right and true. Just because someone says they are a spiritual person does not mean they do not wish you harm. Be aware, test the spirit that leads you, to not be fooled.


A few more proverbs:

Proverbs 12:26

A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 27:5-6

Better is open rebuke than hidden love.  Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Proverbs 13:20

He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Death by Right, Love by Choice

Thoughts on religions and church

Not to say anything offensive to anyone who feels comfortable in their religion and church community, but there are reasons people choose not to attend church. I still pray to find that community and membership, as well as know others do as well. I think it is important to understand why rather then quickly judge anyone. I know it is not for us to understand everyone and their actions but we must understand simply that there is a reason for everything and accept that people have their own spiritual battles to overcome. It does not help to try to plant yourself somewhere and feel the spirit of division, accusation, and judgement in a place where we are supposed to find love, peace, and acceptance. I am happy for you none the less if you have a supportive community and healthy study habits of the scriptures. There are some really great people who are of many different religions and backgrounds. I am the last to judge anyone and the only one I will is myself. With that being said I have been having a lot of issues with the "Church". I place it in quotes because I am referring to church in general and not the body of the church of Christ. I think it is very important to have a relationship with others who have like mindedness and are members of Christ's body. There are so many churches and some will even claim that they are the only ones that will make it to heaven, absurd really. I can almost laugh now, but there was a time where there was a kindling anger to hear people say that Heaven and being close to God was only for them (Leaving any community, religion, or person who has said this out, since to me it's like calling others fools for having faith). At this point, Jesus would probably tell us a parable if we were to claim this and it probably would be similar to the parable of the sower. Religion is a personal preference to follow the rules within and the beliefs of someone else's understanding or revelation, but spirituality is a personal experience learning through wisdom and understanding through a personal walk, either growing in the Holy Spirit or something else that will falter. The point is we need to be able to at least discern where these revelations and teachings are coming from by not leaning on our own understanding and praying about a message we have heard for confirmation. These are merely recent thoughts I have had since my heart is heavy about someone saying my spirituality was my opinion. Not true, spirituality is not an opinion, it is the truth in which is revealed from preparation, practice and discernment of the enemy. Truth is revealed when this is all you seek and the Lord has promised to reveal himself if you seek him. It is alright to know where you are going and it is alright to face where you have been so that you can forgive and move on from how you used to be. I am who I am, who are you to say who I am or what I should be? There is only one who has the authority to do this and that is the Messiah who teaches us through scripture and who will reveal your purpose when you are ready to know. The enemy will always promise what he never had intention to deliver yet we know someone who promises a life we can not fathom by simply accepting him. Who is your enemy someone who fluffs up the truth in order to get you to do what they want or someone who tells it like it is which may hurt at first by facing it but will help you grow in the end?  We seriously do get out what we put in and when we follow Jesus we reap so much more. If you are easily offended because of lack of understanding, disbelief, confusion, questioning or simply because of ignorance to the truth then please read no further. Hypocrisy, judgement and money are just to name a few of the main reasons people fall away or do not attend church at all. I could share some other reasons from my own experience in leaving quite of few places but this is actually about something bigger. Jesus taught us to do right in the sight of God the father, to keep our morals, and do what convicts our spirit through his father's discipline. God loves a joyful giver yes, but how can one be a joyful giver when it is out of pressure...see what I mean? If you have felt convicted to tithe, then this is between you and the Lord and for no one else's information. An offering is something completely different from tithing, it is anything outside the 10%  tithing law that was set before us in the old testament. (If you didn't know, tithe means 10%)  I must say I completely agree that hypocrisy is one of the major reasons we are still so far from heavenly father and obviously so did the worlds savior, Jesus Christ. Don't take this the wrong way he never said not to attend church or not to have a community or a religion but he never commanded us to either. Jesus taught on the Sabbath in the synagogues through out scripture, but whether it be every week we can not even assume so. There was times on a Sabbath they were all on foot which is where the pharisees tried calling him out when he is teaching listeners parables and healing those who needed healing. I, like many others, work on most of the days that are truly Sabbath, they are different every week based on 6 working non holy days and the 7th day being the Sabbath which was not calculated continuously with it being the same day every week since we need to count six days after the Sabbath day which was also broken up by the new moon month calendar. This is based on  how the Sabbath is calculated historically in the old testament, It has been a challenge for me to find the true Sabbath and actually keeping it holy since there is no possible way to have over 52 scheduled days off a year with a 5 day with continuous working week job. Most religions have made a non-conventional Sabbath on a Saturday or Sunday based on a continuous week that was given to us by rulers. I have studied the bible on and off for many years and have read every day for over a year and do not think I will ever stop reading daily ever again. However, unfortunately I am still praying to find like minded people for communion who are not the judgmental ones who claim to follow Jesus but really don't and do not even eat the word on a daily basis. This is in no way an effort to say you should read the bible or to bible push you into an everyday reading or devotion. Reality is if you don't and you call yourself a believer and a follower then you should rethink it entirely since no one can truly seek with all their heart, mind and soul to follow, yet not read and still gain understanding or receive wisdom on the word. I chose to read because I chose to learn everything there is to know about Jesus because I love him and want to prepare myself for his love. There has not been one church that I have attended that I have not felt outcast and judged. Sad, right? I am the type of person that loves praising in church but have come to find myself on my own on many levels. Jesus promised he would build the church and taught us that no man was worthy but by grace we can come to his father through him. We have to receive this with joy that he will build the church because he is the foundation but we also have to accept that the churches around us will include modern day pharisees and hypocrisy similar to the generation he lived in.

Jesus really put a spin on and brought light to man made thoughts and religion when he came around and if you notice people followed him, not religion. What is religion if it is not doing something over and over again that you love, if we were able to find Jesus in Church many of us would have never fallen away in the first place. If people really had religion in doing what they loved, serving with joy then they would not be so burdened by their thoughts of resentment towards another's life, sins and growth in the Spirit, casting them down while lifting themselves up in self love and righteousness. With this being said it is simple to justify that we would love church and the community at all times the same way we love him at all times if the atmosphere lived up to the Christ Mind expectations. I am sorry if you are dealing with rebuking nature or judgement from people at church, you should not have to feel like that in a house of God. Its so hard because honestly I know the enemy has risen through the church, before the generations Jesus came, it may sound terrible for me to say but it is true and I find it hard to believe that one church is not infected with the same demon since they are all man made through their rituals, worship, laws, rules etc. All the true followers seem to be alone no matter where they go even as far back as Noah. It is nice to have community and it helps with prayer, I just feel like if and when I go somewhere I can always find something that is not Christ like, and I am not looking to dissect the words of teachings. Discernment is hard to avoid when you know how Jesus would react or what he would say to something being said. Unlike him, it's hard for me to speak out in this matter since unless the Spirit speaks I must remain silent. I was reflecting in this recently since in all the old testament there are very few people who are able to remain in faith as well as be acceptable to God due to rebellious ways and immorality. I can relate for sure in my despair and am grateful I have made it out of the pit to live to tell the story. Jesus is the foundation of the church he has laid a worthy foundation for his father. My point is he built it and humans run it on earth but reality is when the church/bride (which are the members his body) are ready he will come down and get her but the temple is not here and no man can build anything worthy because we all fall short. So this is why it will be coming down from heaven. He lays it...Matthew 16:18  no one can lay any foundation 1 Cor 3:11 These are just a couple verses of confirmation -- he promised he would be the one that builds the church, does this mean we should wait and thrive alone? Surely not, this is why I continue to fast and pray for a greater calling in gifts and service. Through Jesus' teachings we can understand that we should not judge lest we should be judged but if we must judge should it not be not judge those who claim to follow the law of the father and teachings of the son and most of all ourselves over anyone else. Reference Matthew 7:1-3

Matthew 16:18

 And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

1 Corinthians 3:11-15

11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames. 

1 Corinthians 5:12-13

For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.” 

1 Corinthians 11:31

But if we were more discerning with regard to ourselves, we would not come under such judgment. 

Acts 7: 48-50

 “However, the Most High does not live in houses made by human hands. As the prophet says:

 “‘Heaven is my throne,
    and the earth is my footstool.
What kind of house will you build for me?
says the Lord.
    Or where will my resting place be?

Has not my hand made all these things?’

Acts 17:24-28

24 “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earthand does not live in temples built by human hands. 25 And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. 26 From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. 28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’[b] As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

2 Corinthians 5: 1-6

For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven: If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked. For we that are in this tabernacle do groan, being burdened: not for that we would be unclothed, but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life. Now he that hath wrought us for the selfsame thing is God, who also hath given unto us the earnest of the Spirit. Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord:

Death by Right, Love by Choice.